28 March 2013

Harry Potter HFriday - Post the All Hermione All the Time





My brain has done its best impression of a sieve lately, which is perhaps my psyche’s way of punning on pensieve? So I’m really glad that I made a bullet list of the things in the first 3 chapters of the reading. Here it is in all its minimalist glory: 

  • Percy’s letter – UGH so offensive. Pompous Percy the Prat.
  • Hermione is mean to Luna. Boooo Hermione.
  • Knitting!


 I'm telling you. Sieve. That last point is something you guys won’t know a huge amount about, but in a nutshell, for years I was a bigger knitter (and spinner) than reader; this is where my dedication to audiobooks really became A Thing. I focused my BA in Art History on textiles, and for a long time wanted to be a textile historian; when we’re all living comfortably in the Enchanted April castle, all my yarn and fiber will come with me. And while my fiber arts have taken a backseat to books in the last year, the mention of knitting still makes me really cheerful.

MOVING ON. The twins in this section kick ass. When everyone’s in the Hogs Head and that jerk is all, “Are you trying to weasel out of showing us some stuff?” and Ron tells him off and then the Twins get all knuckle-cracking Crabbe-and-Goyle-but-AWESOME?

That is what having brothers is like (sometimes). Other times, it's worms in your bed and your liquid laundry detergent bottle filled with dish soap. 
And then later, Ginny has a BOYFRIEND and Ron reacts eeeeeeeexactly the way older brothers have been reacting since the dawn of boyfriends. And even though we hate Cho the Interloper because Harry is clearly Ginny’s, I like that he doesn’t suddenly look at her now that she’s unavailable. Way to not fall into that shitty romance trap, JK!



More bullet points:

  • The slide to the girls’ dormitory is one of my favorite details about Hogwarts.
  • Neville charging Malfoy in front of Potions is ROUGH. Malfoy is at his most vile in this book, and I don’t care that his family has a good structure or whatever – he was not raised to be a decent human being and I loathe him. Later I will pity him, but for now? LOATHE. 
  • Sirius passing that message from Molly to Ron – something about it makes me laugh
  • Fred and George’s boils. Bwahahahah!
  • Hermione talks about being nearly put in Ravenclaw for cleverness – I suspect that if that had been the case, she would have become COMPLETELY INSUFFERABLE.



Ok, these last things aren’t bullet points because I’m bored with those now. How about some nice dashes instead? Good.

- Hermione kisses Ron on the cheek before what is HANDS DOWN The best Quidditch match of the series. Oohhhhhh those Slytherins make my blood boil. Why didn’t some RESPONSIBLE ADULT just silencio their whole section? I kept waiting and waiting for it but no! 

- Poor, poor Trelawney. She's an old bat and (mostly) a fraud, but she didn't deserve to be taken down in front of her students like that. No teacher does; that is not how adults behave. 

- MacGonagall and Umbridge’s nearly-silent showdown scenes are just purely fantastic. Every time Umbridge hem-hem’s, I want to light her on FIRE. 

- Hermione again: planning Hagrid’s lessons! She would be the best EA... until she took over your company.


You weren't running it properly anyway.

Comments (23)

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Oh my god that last gif is both hilarious and kind of terrifying!

The slide! I love that the founding members had no faith in teenage boys! And the way the girls all slide down it with such style is wayyyy cool.

I hate Malfoy in this book. I know by the end of the series everyone wants to coddle him and cry about him not being that bad blah blah parents, but he is horrible. He is a nasty human being with no thought of how other people feel. The things he says to the Weasley's and Harry on the Quidditch pitch? I would have annihilated him.
That thing with Neville IS rough. I am happy this book features Neville becoming the awesomest person in all of awesomeland. Malfoy completely sucks BUT I like it that JK Rowling doesn't assume that his having been an asshole in grade school is a sufficient condition to ensure that he will be an ass forever.
1 reply · active 631 weeks ago
That is a really good point, and one that (ahem) translates to later life. Who we are as teenagers isn't always Who We Are, y'know? I mean, I know plenty of people who haven't matured beyond that time, but I look at them with pity now.

Life is so much richer than high school and teenaged hormones led us to believe.
Hermione kissing Ron on the cheek is just additional proof that she and Ron are having fun times in the prefect bathroom. She just kept it to a cheek peck cos Harry was watching.

I forgot to talk about Neville going for Malfoy which is the best. I could have cared less when Harry and George went for him after the Quidditch match, but I was cheering for Neville. Even if he would have gotten his ass handed to him. Poor (super hot eventually) guy.
1 reply · active 631 weeks ago
Hmmmm fun times in the prefect bathroom. OF COURSE!

I cheered for Fred, George, and Harry also - Malfoy really IS a little ferret and he deserved it.
Textile historian! That would be awesome. I must learn to knit. But it seems so haaard. Is starting with crochet a thing, or are they super different and you might as well jump in to knitting?

I love the twins. People were saying earlier that they're horrible bullies, but I haven't really seen that yet. Did I miss it?

The slide! Hogwarts is the best. I want to go to there.
1 reply · active 631 weeks ago
*puts on Textile Historian hat* Crocheting and knitting are pretty different, but they both just require teaching your fingers what to do - it's all muscle memory. At least three relatives tried to teach me to knit when I was younger and it never stuck. I learned by watching the videos at knittinghelp.com over and over and over again because I needed to be able to watch the movements while I tried them.

Here's what I told myself while I was learning: knitting and spinning were, for hundreds and thousands of years (respectively), child labor. So if a little medieval child can do it, SO CAN I! *takes off hat*

Oh the twins. Have you read the Outlander series? There's a girl in there who has a polyamorous relationship with a set of twins. That would be me and Frorge, if I could manage it.
Of course, JKR does fall into that trap in the next book, sooo....:[ And the boils, right?! Love it!
1 reply · active 631 weeks ago
AGGGHHHH you are correct. But then don't we ALL fall into that trap every once in awhile? I've definitely done it, and it NEVER ends well. Bleh.
Will you teach me how to knit actual things in the Enchanted April Castle (I can knit, but not, like, amazing and awesome things)? Yes? This is going to be so awesome...

Anyway! I don't hate Cho! I think mainly because I was so dense when I was reading these books that I didn't realise that Harry was sposed to like Ginny. Having said that, Cho IS kind of annoying me in OotP, but only because she's acting like a complete GIRL.

And OMG Hermione would be SO insufferable in Ravenclaw. That would have been GROSS. *shudders*
1 reply · active 631 weeks ago
I will! Knitting is easy - just four stitches at the heart of it, put together in different ways. :)

I don't hate Cho either - I actually feel kind of bad for her. I do love when Hermione lays down all the things she (Cho) must be feeling for Harry and Ron. Their incredulity is so.... male.

And YES, right? That Sorting Hat knows what's up.
Malfoy is THE WORST. I can have sympathy for him later on, but it doesn't negate what an asswipe he is up until then. I think too many people's brains have been clouded by fanfiction where Malfoy is concerned.

I forgot to mention the bit about Ron freaking out about Michael Corner -- it's so excellent. Ginny is pretty cool, and I love that she doesn't care about Harry anymore (although I would prefer if it stayed that way... I am not here for these convenient high-school-sweetheart-true-love scenarios).
3 replies · active 631 weeks ago
PS I LOVE KNITTING TOO.

My mom just retired and is a huge knitter and I've been trying to convince her that we should start a mother/daughter account for our knitting escapades.
...mother/daughter ETSY account.

so close.
Niiiice. :D

My mom and I knit together too, and whenever we do it in public people always ask, and she takes great pride in informing them that "no, in fact, my daughter taught me!" It's cute.
ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS GIF

Dude, you are the queen of awesomely amazing knitting. I am in awe of you and your skillz.

ALL THE LIGHTING ON FIRE FOR UMBRIDGE
1 reply · active 631 weeks ago
BURN HER! She's a witch! BUUUUURN HERRRR!

Now I have to go watch Holy Grail.
Boys must try to get up to the girls' dormitories fairly often, because the ladies coming down that slide were like, "Who was it THIS time?" Gryffindor girls bring all the boys to the...tower.

I used to really not like Fred and George, and I have NO idea what happened to change my mind except that they're fan-freaking-tastic. I want them to be MY slightly delinquent older brothers. Bill, on the other hand? It's probably best if we're not related in this scenario.
3 replies · active 631 weeks ago
OH JUST WAIT. Bill is def. sexy. Poor Charlie: super good quidditch player, does highly dangerous stuff for a living, but does he get the girls? Apparently not.

Maybe he has a wonky eye?
I kind of have a Charlie thing too...if I'm honest. But Bill has that long hair/earring thing going for him.
I'LL HAVE CHARLIE!
The McGonagall/Umbridge bit is maybe my favorite moment of this section. Maybe even of this BOOK. McG is stone cold.
It's so nice

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