It's Hfriday! HURRAH! It has been A. Week. and then today was A. Day. on top of that. In honor of International Women's Day, I have a Lady Confession for you all, which is that I occasionally feel superior because I do not have Monthly Lady Problems, and while I try to offset my internal chortling over how free I am of Girl Troubles by preaching the Magic of the IUD, it's definitely an unattractive quality. Scientists will tell you that it's never been proven that women who hang around each other sync up, but women will tell you that particular group of scientists are bollocks. I can tell when someone is on the rag after hanging out with them for 15 minutes, because my uterus is all, "what's SHE doing over there? That looks like FUN!" and I am all, "THAT IS NOT WHY WE DO KEGELS, self!"
Basically what I'm saying is that I count it as a personal victory that I only cried twice at work today.
And then I came home and did what any reasonably sane person would do: poured a bowl of comfort olives, a giant glass of wine, knocked back a bunch of ibuprofen, and sat down to write about the last totally happy chunk of Harry Potter.
I had forgotten how much I love this section of GoF. How genius is the title of Chapter 21? JK's description of how helpless boys must feel about girls traveling everywhere in groups is so wonderful; she captures the bewilderment they must feel when they first realize that girls are... Girls. I've always been a little bummed about Hermione's debut at the Yule Ball - because make no mistake, that is what was going on there (especially for Ron)
because Emma Watson has always been an obviously pretty girl even under her "bushy hair" form the first movie, and in the book, Hermione looks so different from her usual self that Harry doesn't even recognize her. And then afterward, she goes back to her usual routine, because she doesn't care enough about her looks - even after she's validated by all the Slytherins - to work so hard at it. We could all stand to take a leaf out of Hermione's book once in awhile, I think. *looks sideways at her morning routine*
Plus, how great is it when she tells Ron off afterward?
GoF is where JK's ability to write adolescents really shines. They're funny and gross and ridiculous and weird and still don't quite know what's funny and what's offensive, they yell at adults (so much yelling at adults!) and throw fits and don't know why they're doing half of what they're doing, and JK captures it all in a few well-written chapters that might as well have been titled, "Remember What it was Like to be Like This?"
You'll have to forgive me - the ibuprofen is making me sentimental. Let's take a turn for the What Bothered Me:
I know the Bandwagon of Dobby Loathing is pretty well populated. But dudes, he knitted Harry socks with broomsticks and snitches on! Do you know how difficult that is? I am a Reasonably Accomplished Knitter (and even More Accomplished Yarn Buyer); I have made shawls that stretch to SIX FEET square (that's almost 2 meters, Laura) out of what is essentially thread. I make garments that can be worn multiple times without falling to pieces. And yet Dobby the House Elf can knit a pair of intarsia socks - a technique that scares me silly - and Harry has the GALL to say that his other presents are more satisfactory! And then RON, whose mother knits all of his siblings a sweater EVERY YEAR, just gives it away.
What the fuck. Knitting is not hard, but it takes a long-ass time! There is genuine love in every stitch of those garments, and you're just throwing them away! BE GRATEFUL, you little pricks.
Wine makes me shouty.
Ok, moving on. The moment when Percy runs into the lake, robes and all, looking "younger than usual," is so sweet. You're not often a Good Brother, Percy, but it makes me happy when you are.
Seriously, Sirius? Snuffles is the best you could come up with? Wandering around talking about SNUFFLES as if he were a PERSON whose parents chose THAT NAME certainly isn't going to raise some eyebrows. Why didn't you just have them refer to you as "Lee"?
kayleigh m · 634 weeks ago
GoF really is adolescent gold and further proof that JK is actually some kind of all knowing witch.
Kayleigh V · 634 weeks ago
Tikabelle 87p · 634 weeks ago
Knitting isn't nearly as hard as it looks! You just have to get past the muscle memory stage and it's pretty smooth sailing after that. :D
raychraych 52p · 634 weeks ago
In the parlance of the internet, mind equals blown.
Tikabelle 87p · 634 weeks ago
Jennifer · 634 weeks ago
On a cheerier note... you're so right about Snuffles? How does that make sense to them AT ALL. They may as well just call Sirius, "insert code name here" for all the secrecy they employ. Also, loving the Cinderella gifs. Random but fantastic.
Tikabelle 87p · 634 weeks ago
And YES one of the regular side-effects of an IUD is no - or very few - visits from everyone's least-favorite aunt. Plus, no daily pills, it lasts for 5 years, and it's free from Planned Parenthood. It's pretty much the best thing ever.
Ellie · 634 weeks ago
OKAY my inner 13 year-old is sated for another day. CARRY ON! :)
Tikabelle 87p · 633 weeks ago
I'm SO GLAD that Cindy GIF was effective. I can stare at it for hours. Or at least minutes.
What Red Read 121p · 633 weeks ago
I like your knitting outrage. But seriously Ron, how could you just give that sweater away. And what are you going to do when your mom asks you to wear it??
Why did Sirius go with Snuffles?
Tikabelle 87p · 633 weeks ago
Olives are GREAT. A jar of castelvetranos in a slightly spicy brine is my faaaavorite. There's this one place in Illinois that has The. Best. Olives; my friend Meghan sends them to me and the people at the restaurant think we're crazy, but they are that good.
Knitting outrage is just a part of a knitter's life. My brother lost TWO PAIRS of socks I knitted for him, so he lost his privileges. Then he moved to Rhode Island where it is COLD, so he's definitely regretting it now!