Things I Learned while on a Juice Fast

For those of you not in The Know, Alice and I decided to go on a juice fast for 3 days last week and have been whining about it on Twitter for... well, let's just say we pre-gamed by complaining. A lot.

All of you, that is. I already did.

1) Chewing food is a privilege and I will treasure it henceforth.

2) Grease 2 is my go-to quoting movie. At least thrice in those 3 days, I have likened a Serious Conversational Subject to this paragon of film-making camp.

Well THIS needs to change.

3) There are plenty of puns and double entendres to be made about juicing.

My friends have done their best to make them all, multiple times. The advantage to drinking only juice for 3 days is that the jokes just get funnier.

4) Juice fasting can tear friendships apart. We never used to argue (about food) on the Twitter, but now we do - or did. It was mostly being lovingly told to STFU.

5) My digestive system clearly rides the short bus to work. People everywhere (and by "everywhere" I mean "on the internet," duh) said that when they went on juice fasts, their intestines rose up in revolt - so I was prepared to be thankful that my desk is close to the ladies room, and that the ratio of ladies restrooms to ladies in my office is 1:1. But no! MY intestines are pleased with this new direction and would like to continue along it, thankyouverymuch. Fabulous.

6) Pulling the meat off of a rotisserie chicken on the last day of a juice fast requires an ASTONISHING amount of willpower. That posole had better be worth it!  (ETA: It was. Recipe here.)