BleakAlong: Post the Second-and-Third

I can't even believe you guys are still reading this book. I mean, the characters are all bland and the story is boring. Also Lolita needed to go further into the "juicy stuff."

Can we talk about the SUPREMELY DISMAL parenting going on in this book? I am fairly sure that it's on purpose, given Dickens's first examples of motherhood are 1) the horrible godmother/aunt 2) Mrs. Jellyby and 3) Mrs. Pardiggle.

And then we have Mr. Turveydrop, whose deportment is the envy of us all I am sure, but sir,

Although while he's a trial to everyone around him and will expect Caddy and Prince to wait on him hand and foot until he expires in a cloud of lavender water, he's not as emotionally manipulative as the horrid Mrs. Jellyby being snide and ridiculous and so dismissive of her daughter and the things she wants. PARENTING, you guys. I know it's not easy but seriously, get your shit together. And you, Rick. Yeesh.

Mrs Rachel from back-in-the-day is Mrs. Chadband? Ugh he is so gross and his utterly nonsensical "sermons" give me the giggles.

"When this young heathen now among us - who is now, my friends, asleep..."

Hah. But I love how Dickens just throws the detail of the Chadbands in as if it's not important - she just walks up in the middle of an unrelated chapter and is all, "hey, remember me? I made your childhood a living hell. Also I married a guy you don't yet know you hate. Peace."

I'm sure that won't come back around later. Anyway, the bird imagery continues, have you noticed? And Hortense comes in and begs Esther for a job but does it in a very interesting manner. The kind of manner where she promises to do anything... she's very hot-blooded being from France, you know... she'll take care of Esther better than anyone could ever...

The Girl who Fell Beneath Fairyland and Led the Revels There - Catherynne M. Valente

Sometimes you finish a book that was ohhhhhkay and you feel like all the good books were written in the past, and you're so woebegone that you ignore the somewhat glaring inconsistency that by definition ALL published books were written in the past.

"Books today," you think, "are just not what they used to be. I'm going to go back to classics and books with dragons on the covers.*"

And then you feel very smug with yourself and pick up this slim novel by Catherynne M. Valente, promising yourself that it's nothing but Brontes and Dickens and Collins after this because at least they weren't writing to be able to sell movie rights. This is when Valente - who is a year younger than you, what have you been doing with your life?!? - takes you by your smug nose and teaches an object lesson in Creative Writing.

Chapter 1: Exuent in a Rowboat, Pursued by Crows

 Valente's imagination should be a national treasure. Her work is full of the details that make Oz and Wonderland such indelible places.

"Once upon a time, a girl named September had a secret."

This is the second book in the The Girl Who series, which I'm sure has a better, more proper name but who cares about that. The point is, in theory you've already read the first book or at least heard its title, which is The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her Own Making. Thus it is not a spoiler to tell you that September's secret is that she has been to Fairyland before, and it's not much of a spoiler to tell you that - much like the rest of us would if we had been September - she spent a large portion of her time thinking about how to get back.

"Now, secrets are delicate things. They can fill you up with sweetness and leave you like a cat who has found a particularly fat sparrow to eat and did not get clawed or bitten even once while she was about it."

Nice job, Puss.

But they can also get stuck inside you, and very slowly boil up your bones for their bitter soup. So we may be very glad that September had the better of her secret...

Those are some Trufax (TM), you guys, and it's only page 1.  Observe page 180, if you please:

Wit laughed, which for a crow is a loud, rough sound. Crows look down a bit on birds that make pretty, trilling sounds. Pandering to humans, they say. Just shameless.

I gobbled this book up and ordered the third one from the library, tout de suite.

10.5 out of 11 Mazes that wouldn't be caught dead without a minotaur. It's not done!

*Can we please have a moment of silence for Anne McCaffrey, without whom  I would probably not be here - either as a writer or as a reader of books. Pern is a much beloved mark on my soul, and if the future doesn't bring me a fire lizard then what, I ask you, is science even for?

BleakAlong: Post the First

Well, here we are in the first week of the #BleakAlong and I've managed to make it through ALL the reading!

This will not last, so I intend to celebrate while I can.

Okay, so far this book is about contrasts, yes? There's the excruciatingly obvious Mrs. Pardiggle vs. Mrs. Jellyby, whose husbands should absolutely have dinner together, Esther. And then there's Chetney Wold vs. Bleak House, and the different areas of London, and how the Chancery differs from the real world...

But there are some things I HAVE to talk to you about: are we established and all on board that Esther and Ada are as queer as a three-dollar bill? Poor Mr. Guppy and his awkward proposal.

GOOD; more on that later.

But first I want to talk about the wallpapers in this book. Ada's bedroom at Bleak House is full of flowered things - the wallpaper, the upholstery, everything. Is it because she is Virgin in this tale, Mr. Dickens? No need to whack us over the head with that one. Then there's Esther's room, with the hard working people on the walls, making hay and whatnot, because she'll be the housekeeper you see. Without any training I might add - Dickens, that's a stretch. But the description of the sitting room is what made me sit up (hah) and take notice. It's papered with birds. Birds, who represent freedom and innocence, but whose song - like the birds of the mad old lady at Crook's shop - is silenced, in the case of this room, forever.. Is this a hint to us that the Jarndyce judgement will never come down, or that it might not be everything it's cracked up to be once Chancery has its way?

Close readings are the best.

Are you as weirded out by Boythorn as I am? Alice pointed out that Bleak House predates The Woman in White, but it doesn't change the fact that I met Count Fosco first and therefore will never again fully trust a giant, overblown man who has a strange way with the beasts of the field. And I submit to you, my friends, that Wilkie thought there was something creepy about it too, which could be why the two characters resemble each other.

The exception that proves the rule.

There's so much stuff in here, you guys! We could do a week per chapter and I'd STILL fill up 2 pages of notes.

Auld Lang Syne, the 2013 Edition

2012 was an emotional clusterfuck, but it brought me some serious Character Building moments, not to mention YOU, my beloved book blogging friends.

I love not camping.

My friend Jasmin chooses words every year to focus her ambitions, and I've been joining her in this endeavor since 2009. She's a very skilled knitter (and mother and friend), so usually our words have to do with our mutual textile obsession and are then expanded into the rest of our lives. 2012's emotional rollercoaster meant that I hadn't knitted for almost a year, so for 2013 I had just one word: Heal. I've done a lot of that, as well as a lot of growing. Now, in 2014, I'm ready for some new words, and those are: 

Do What Scares You. 

For textiles, this means tackling the projects I've avoided - sweaters because I'm afraid they won't fit, finishing big projects because what if they turn out awful? (they're never awful), trading/selling the stashed yarn I no longer have a taste for, and learning to spin with more regularity, intention, and control. 

In life, this means being bolder about my choices.

But it's still 2013 for 12 more hours! Did I do awesome stuff this year? Yes. I went to some swanky parties, moved into what promises to be an awesome living situation, traveled a bunch, got much better at my job, and lived pretty excellently. Is it time for a photo montage? I THINK SO. 

My mom and I honored her mother's passing appropriately.

Megs and I hung out TWICE! (Alice and KAO and I hung out too, but there are no pictures of us?!?)

My brothers and I (plus Heather!) visited my Grandma Alicia twice as well.

I spent quality Tweedle Hunting time withe the Best Nieces

And then there were the BOOKISH things! The formation of the GIF Admiration Society, two utterly delightful Minithons that led up to Dewey's 24-hour Readathon in October, and innumerable hilarious discussions about books, authors, shipping, and Life-in-General via gChat. ANOTHER MONTAGE:

Long live the Potteralong.

I kissed a handsome man.

Rainbow Rowell is adorable.

AND:

Let's do this, 2014.

Eleanor and Park - Rainbow Rowell

I read this entirely in one day during the Mini Readathon at the beginning of July (it was great, we'll do another one, hurrah for permission to read and eat all day!).  My justification for this being "mini" was that it is about teenagers, who are basically mini-humans in mind if not in body. And while, yes, that is technically true, oh lord.

Ladies, you know how sometimes you're like, "WHY am I sobbing at this? What is going ON? How do I FEEL SO MUCH RIGHT NOW?!?" and then two days later your least favorite aunt comes to visit and you're like, "oh. Maybe I won't die alone and pathetic and be eaten by wild dogs after all. Bring me the chocolate and ibuprofen, feline companion!" 

No.

Those first few days of feeeeeeels are not the ideal time to read Eleanor & Park, people, because Eleanor & Park is a book about... 

Ok, here's the thing. I got into a Twitter discussion with Rainbow Rowell last night about the Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, and I said that the Ramona books are ABOUT Ramona, but Judy Blume's books are ABOUT growing up, and that is why Ramona sticks with us ladies of a certain age: because she is a real kid with a real range of kid problems. She's also the reason I can't look at a crop of Shirley Temple curls without wanting to boing them.

Which brings me back to Eleanor & Park, and what this book is ABOUT. The title characters are complete, which I really liked and which is surprisingly rare for most books - I was going to say YA books, but let's be honest: characterization is not currently in style in fiction, is it? 

But Eleanor and Park are not only well-defined and realized, they're also genuine teenagers. They do stupid shit, they think stupid things, they get stuff wrong, they're just trying to survive being teens, which is - as you may remember - HARD ENOUGH. But wrapped in all of this is Eleanor's family, which is broke and broken in a way that made me uncomfortable because I grew up poor and broken but not the same kind, so I empathized but also felt weird about my empathy because the shit that happened to me when I was a kid is nothing compared to what she is going through. Empathy is an odd thing.

So, Tika, what is this book about? You got all excitable about telling us and then went off on a tangent.

Well, my dear reader, first of all you cannot be surprised that such a thing would happen. And secondly, Eleanor & Park is a book about growing up and first love and whimsy and the awkwardness of being a teenager and parenting and preconceived notions and a definite hint of pride and prejudice (the emotions, not the book). It made my heart sore, and soar, and I had to stop a few times to ugly cry - sometimes for Eleanor and sometimes for Park.

It's a book teachers of high school students should read to remind them of what it's like to be the beings they're trying to connect to, and that's about the highest praise I can think of.

10.5 of 11 Mix Tapes from the Radio

Harry Potter HFriday - Part the ENDENING

Alice pointed out that since we've been doing this for six months, we've nearly all found one another on gchat, Facebook, Instagram, and other corners of the internet that are not our book bloggy homes, so the end of the readalong isn't as sad as it could be.

[Side bar: seriously, Chrome? after six months you still don't believe "readalong" is a word? Don't make me come over there. (this is funny because my office is within walking distance of Google so I could. And I just might.)]

I'm saving all most of the GIFs I didn't use for the FUTURE when they will come in handy especially when I read a YA book that's not as good as HP (so any of them) and my reaction is largely

And then we can all be like, "remember when we did that readalong and it proved how clever we all are? That was a fun half-year."

I feel like bullet points are especially appropriate in this, our final group post (for now). In the last six months, I have:

• discovered that JK Rowling is crap at math, but super-duper excellent at characterization and the Long Game. 
• discussed and calculated at length the number of students at Hogwarts and whether Hogwarts is the only or just the best wizarding school in England (signs point to only, according to a line in HP7). 
• perused the Ravenclaw gear at Pottermore and wished for more subtle stuff, only to decide later that what my life is truly missing is a Ravenclaw couch throw - which is decidedly UNSUBTLE
• Spent an INORDINATE amount of time looking at Daniel Radcliffe's quite pretty self: 

I can't tell if I'm uncomfortable or just impressed.

Artists wear black and take monochromatic portraits. And do Equus.

So, this whole thing has been HUGELY entertaining, I'm so glad we took this trip together, and I'd like to suggest another Mini Readathon in July - maybe Saturday the 20th or 27th? 

I came across this image about halfway through the readalong (seriously, Chrome, keep up!) and it chokes me up every. single. time. Thanks for reminding me how it feels to be a part of a fandom, you guys. 

Harry Potter HFriday - Part the Battle then Battle Some More

Let’s get one thing out of the way right now: that epilogue is pretty awful, what with the side-eyes between Harry and Draco and the everyone-having-a-zillion-kids. I read it once (and once will dooooo), so I’m ignoring it this time around.

That's right, JK, I said NO.

When Amycus spits at McGonagall and Harry is like, ::whips off cloak:: “you shouldn’t have done that!” and McGonagall is all, “Harry! Don’t be so gallant!” and then he’s like, “He SPIT at you!” NICE JOB, HARRY. Because like hell you spit at McGonagall and get away with it. Like. hell.

Exactly.

There are so many gorgeous parallels in this part of the book. Like when, Ron freaks out about needing to get past the Whomping Willow and Hermione is all, “Are you a wizard or what?" Turnabout: it's fair play, Weasley. And in Snape's memories where he's on the train with Lily, and James says, "I think if I were in Slytherin, I'd go home, wouldn't you?" Which, we've heard someone say something like that before... ::glares at Draco:: So basically Snape is Harry's foil, not Voldemort, who is just a regular ol' fashioned enemy, and James is Draco's foil. Ouch my brain.

At some point JK gives in to herself and actually lets someone talk about what a long game someone has been playing (I ran out of paper flags before this point so no quote for you!), and to that I say, well played indeed, Lady Jo. 

I don't really have a transition here, so now we come to all the SADS that hit me right in my solar plexus:

OMG

Snape telling Harry to look at him while he dies... because of Lily's eyes... those eyes that never saw him, never knew he longed to hold her close, to live at last, in Lilllllyyyyyy's eeeeeyes...

There are fresh tearstains next to the 2007 ones at the part where Percy comes back and Fred is the one to forgive him - but MORE this time because I knew what was coming and that made it WORSE (tbh I cried every time Fred showed up in this book), and then they’re joking – Percy! Joking! – and then… the world blows apart. Don’t try to tell me JK didn’t mean that figuratively as well as literally; she definitely did because she will kill what we love.

The line about the three homeless boys who made Hogwarts their home hurts a bit, doesn't it?

And Bellatrix’s laugh is like Sirius’s because they are cousins and sometimes families have weird little things in common including the way they die. 

Let’s talk about mothers in these books, SHALL WE?

That’s pretty much it, really. The mothers are all BAMFs.

AND SO WE COME TO THE END.  I am clinging to next week as the Last Week because I'm not ready yet.

11 out of 11 Blibbering Humdingers*


*I really hope someone else is going to cover Luna and the Malfoy's family structure, because they DESERVE IT.

Harry Potter HFriday - Post the And We're Walking

I know we've been going back and forth and back again about JK's terrible math skills, but I think we can take a moment to note that THIS is the section where all the backwards math goes to hell. If JK hadn't put James and Lily's DOB in the book, or STRONGLY IMPLIED that Hogwarts is the only wizarding school in England (p.210), everything would have been

Hello, sweetie...

And we'd have all been able to discuss without throwing up our hands and calling JK a maths idiot. BUT NO, she had to be clever. At least we can all bask in the knowledge that there are Potternerds out there who put us all to shame - or rather, did the math so we don't have to. Bless them for allowing us to maintain our polite fiction of normalcy.

SO in this section Ron gets pissed (that's angry, not drunk, British and Australian friends - although that might have helped?) and leaves

And then... follows them? With the magic of the deus ex machina Deluminator? REASONS! And then Harry and Hermione camp for an INTERMINABLE length of time, which is like my own personal hell and 100% of the reason I never finished the LOTR books. Well, that and the really poor editing.

Bullet points! Or rather, quotes and discussion because I took too. many. lit. classes.

"He did it instinctively, without any sort of plan, because he hated the sight of her walking alone into the dungeon: As the door began to swing closed, he slipped into the courtroom behind her." 

This is who Harry is on the inside, why he's a Gryffindor, and why he's The Boy Who Lived. Of course, that all happens when he's not being THIS DOUCHEBAG:

"But it seemed that to Dumbledore, the fact that their families lay side by side in the same graveyard had been an unimportant coincidence, irrelevant, perhaps, to the job he wanted Harry to do." 

UGH HARRY. Why do you have to be so seventeen? (p.s. - props to my Mac for recognizing Dumbledore as a real word. Life imitating art, etc. etc.)

"The most recent of these, shining brightly over sixteen years' worth of magical graffitti, all said similar things."

And that, friends, is when Tika broke down and ugly-cried so hard she scared her cat out of the bedroom.

"He shared a damn sight more of what he was really thinking with Gellert Gridelwald than he ever shared with me."

This ship is in the bag.
I'M NOT SORRY.

Ron is back! Saving Harry from his own stupidity, which was a nice touch.

"She stopped right in front of him, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide. Ron gave a weak, hopeful smile and half raised his arms." 

AGGGH JUST KIIIISSSSSSSS! But no. JK has learned restraint, to everyone's RAGING DISMAY.

*grumble*

Also, you guys? The HP 7+8 gifs? THE SADDEST. Do not want.

Harry Potter HFriday - Post the All Hermione All the Time

My brain has done its best impression of a sieve lately, which is perhaps my psyche’s way of punning on pensieve? So I’m really glad that I made a bullet list of the things in the first 3 chapters of the reading. Here it is in all its minimalist glory: 

• Percy’s letter – UGH so offensive. Pompous Percy the Prat.
• Hermione is mean to Luna. Boooo Hermione.
• Knitting!

 I'm telling you. Sieve. That last point is something you guys won’t know a huge amount about, but in a nutshell, for years I was a bigger knitter (and spinner) than reader; this is where my dedication to audiobooks really became A Thing. I focused my BA in Art History on textiles, and for a long time wanted to be a textile historian; when we’re all living comfortably in the Enchanted April castle, all my yarn and fiber will come with me. And while my fiber arts have taken a backseat to books in the last year, the mention of knitting still makes me really cheerful.

MOVING ON. The twins in this section kick ass. When everyone’s in the Hogs Head and that jerk is all, “Are you trying to weasel out of showing us some stuff?” and Ron tells him off and then the Twins get all knuckle-cracking Crabbe-and-Goyle-but-AWESOME?

That is what having brothers is like (sometimes). Other times, it's worms in your bed and your liquid laundry detergent bottle filled with dish soap. 

And then later, Ginny has a BOYFRIEND and Ron reacts eeeeeeeexactly the way older brothers have been reacting since the dawn of boyfriends. And even though we hate Cho the Interloper because Harry is clearly Ginny’s, I like that he doesn’t suddenly look at her now that she’s unavailable. Way to not fall into that shitty romance trap, JK!

More bullet points:

• The slide to the girls’ dormitory is one of my favorite details about Hogwarts.
• Neville charging Malfoy in front of Potions is ROUGH. Malfoy is at his most vile in this book, and I don’t care that his family has a good structure or whatever – he was not raised to be a decent human being and I loathe him. Later I will pity him, but for now? LOATHE. 
• Sirius passing that message from Molly to Ron – something about it makes me laugh
• Fred and George’s boils. Bwahahahah!
• Hermione talks about being nearly put in Ravenclaw for cleverness – I suspect that if that had been the case, she would have become COMPLETELY INSUFFERABLE.

Ok, these last things aren’t bullet points because I’m bored with those now. How about some nice dashes instead? Good.

- Hermione kisses Ron on the cheek before what is HANDS DOWN The best Quidditch match of the series. Oohhhhhh those Slytherins make my blood boil. Why didn’t some RESPONSIBLE ADULT just silencio their whole section? I kept waiting and waiting for it but no! 

- Poor, poor Trelawney. She's an old bat and (mostly) a fraud, but she didn't deserve to be taken down in front of her students like that. No teacher does; that is not how adults behave. 

- MacGonagall and Umbridge’s nearly-silent showdown scenes are just purely fantastic. Every time Umbridge hem-hem’s, I want to light her on FIRE. 

- Hermione again: planning Hagrid’s lessons! She would be the best EA... until she took over your company.

You weren't running it properly anyway.